Learning to Dance in the Rain

A month ago yesterday, I suddenly had a four year old.  I did have a year to prepare for it, but it still came as a shock.  Super Luke celebrated the day by going out for a happy meal and stopping to pick up a balloon bouquet on the way home.  I made him a birthday banner with checkered flags on it and some racing car cookies just like my mom used to make for us when we were kids (silly people think that lady fingers are for Tiramisu!)  I was quite surprised that at the party store Luke picked out three colored balloons that went beautifully together.  A metallic red, black, and silver, to go with his checkered flag balloon.  My dad reminded me later that those are Ferrari colors (of course.)  I guess Luke is more of a racing car junkie than I thought!  I appreciated that MacDonald’s kindly obliged and included a matchbox car with his happy meal (nice!)  Here he is on his new bike!

For dinner he chose bacon (his favorite food – and he is NOT a meat lover) and french toast with bananas and strawberries – YUM!  We made a big stack and he got to blow out the candles on the top.  As we sang him the familiar tune and did all our hip hips and hoorays, I thought about the last year.  It has been a year since I insisted the pediatrician give me a referral to a speech therapist, and how many people we have consulted and involved in helping our sweet Luke express himself and involve us in his world. 

Oh how much I have agonized and prayed over this child, and look at him, how he has grown!  I like to think I’ve grown too, I mean, we’ve gone through a lot together and since I’m not dead or crazy (not to my knowledge anyway) I must have grown too, right?  It’s funny.  When a baby is born it’s easy to say you’ll do anything for them, but when life happens, you get to prove it, and after all is said and done, you can look back, and it gives you strength and determination to keep doing anything for them.

Now of course all is not said and done.  Luke continues to go to speech once a week, ReadyStart preschool everyday but Wednesday, and social skills class on Monday.  It’s busy!  But I think what he’s doing is working.  We’ve just got to keep on keeping on.

One of the hardest things about being a parent is that you’ve got to learn that your best is good enough and that in the end, they decide who they’ll be.  You can love and inspire, you can teach and correct, but they will be who they choose to be. 

I just love my Luke and I’m so proud of him.  I love his early morning snuggles, and tackles in the backyard.  He loves anything with an engine and yet, loves to play music on the piano while mommy dances.  He would choose tomatoes over ice cream, and books over a computer game (not always but sometimes )   He’s a wonderful kid and I’m so glad he’s mine.

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