Learning to Dance in the Rain

Posts Tagged ‘LDS’

So when I was an LDS missionary my mission pushed the Lock Your Heart article on the missionaries quite strongly.  With good reason, I guess.  There were stories of elders from my mission, like the one who went home early, came back and married a 35-year-old divorced woman with children.  That’s the craziest.  Plenty of other elders I know personally married sisters that they were zone leaders over, or served around, etc.  My ears were just ringing with Lock Your Heart, so every time I met an RM who had a story like this, I judged him harshly.  Read on…

So Lock Your Heart is allegedly a transcript from a talk given by Elder Spencer W. Kimball.  In short, I don’t believe that it’s authentic any more.  My first tip off was that there were too many typos.  Then I couldn’t find it anywhere on the official Church web site.  Finally, according to the transcript, I believe Elder Kimball contradicts himself in the article.  For example:

Well, is there any harm to marry a Mexican
girl if you are working in Mexico? No, that isn’t any crime, but it proves
that some missionary has had his heart open! He has unlocked it!

Really?  Well what if you didn’t meet this Mexican girl while serving in Mexico?  That seems harsh to say you can never marry a girl whose nationality coincides with where you served.  But in the next example, Elder Kimball allows for this:

Is it
wrong to marry a German girl when you have been on a German mission? Why
no, there is no crime in that, if you met her some other way. But when
you meet her in the mission field and you have opened your heart, I tell
you it isn’t right, and you have shortchanged your mission!

That’s better, but it means something different from the last example.  Secondly, if you met a girl in the mission field, think nothing of it, and years later run into her again and marry her, that should be harmless.  President Hinckley agrees with me on this point.  From his talk “What This Work is All About”:

I first met Jack in Japan when he was serving as a missionary there. … [This man had] a great effort and a great sense of
devotion, and above all, a certain humility and reliance on the Lord
with anxious, prayerful pleadings for help.
…
I also first met in Japan and interviewed on a number of occasions the
young lady he was later to marry. She had a wonderful spirit, a deep
faith, and a moving sense of duty.  Their acquaintance in the field was nothing more than having seen one
another on one occasion. They worked in widely separated areas. But out
of their experiences had come a common touchstone—a new language in
which each had learned to share testimony with others while laboring in
the great and selfless cause of service to our Father’s children.

And he goes on to say many great things about each of these RMs and how wonderful their life is together.  The talk isn’t about how people can marry those they meet on their mission, but in talking about what missionary work is about, President Hinckley would not use an example like this if he thought it was a bad example.  Obviously, people who were acquainted in the mission field can marry later without somehow, mysteriously, shortchanging their mission that is already over and done.

I honor and respect President Spencer W. Kimball.  That’s why I don’t believe he really gave that talk.  And if he did, I believe the transcription is faulty.  While I oppose going on a mission to find a bride or groom, and I oppose flirting on a mission, and I support mission rules regarding not writing letters to people in the mission field while you’re serving in it, I nevertheless believe that there are perfectly acceptable circumstances in which you can marry someone who lived within your mission boundaries.

I don’t know if this phrase pervades outside the LDS culture like it does within it.  It is often embroidered to pictures of Christ.  The idea being portrayed is that life is hard, but it will be worth it because of Christ.

That simple idea is fine, but literally speaking, the saying is false, and its reverse is actually what is true:  Christ did say it would be easy, but he never said it would be worth it.  Think about it.  Can you find a scripture where he does? (literally speaking)

Now, of course Christ believed and taught principles consistent with the idea that yes, of course salvation is “worth it”.  But he also said taking His yoke upon ourselves is easy.  Let’s not get life (which is hard) confused with following Christ (easy). 

And let’s think about these catchy phrases before we allow them to permeate our entire culture.

I have been in many ward choirs.  These are some pointers I have that I believe can apply to every choir director.  I appreciate all choir directors, and I am glad they take their time to serve us.  I certainly do not have the skill to do what they do, and I appreciate their selfless service.  Nevertheless, I believe some improvements could be easily made.  But if you are a choir director please do not take anything personally or as an attack — especially if you are one of my own current or past choir directors!  In other words, these are written more for humor than anything else.  If you do not find it funny, stop reading.

1. End choir practice at the scheduled time, and not a minute later.  Consider ending early if you are at a convenient stopping place.
2. One or two people do not constitute a majority.  When you ask “Shall we sing it one more time?” and only one or two people respond affirmatively, that means that everyone else is silently responding “no”.  Ditto for “Do you want to stand?”
3. Leaning over a first row choir member to conduct directly to the third row makes people nervous.
4. Don’t specifically invite “all members, including those who can’t sing” to choir.  Those who can sing become less enthused about attending themselves.  Choirs should sound pleasant.
5. Consider singing the music as it is written.  It is perfectly acceptable to sing a hymn out of the book without stuffing as much variety as possible (or more so!) into the verses with unison/parts/harmony or new verses. 
6. If you have limited practice time before the performance, consider simplifying the selection before you call an extra weeknight rehearsal.
7. Never, never say “Let’s sing it just once more(, I promise).”  I have never met a choir director who lived up to that promise even once, so do not even pretend you will live up to it.  You tease us with the concept of getting home to eat, then we practice the piece three more times.
8. Give the choir time to talk to each other.  Singing can be an inspiring experience, and singing with people you know and love greatly enhances that.  Just two or three minutes per rehearsal of “talk with your neighbor” time can go a long way to putting smiles on the choir’s faces both for rehearsals and for performances.  We will probably pay more attention when you are talking as well.
9. When working with a small section of the choir, invite the others to sit down.
10. Do not ask us whether we want to sit with the congregation or in the choir loft for the rest of the meeting.  We will be divided anyway, just tell us what to do.  We will do what you say.

Remember Mary Poppins? Remember Bert, the chimney sweep who is friends with both Mary Poppins and the children? Well, one day Bert tries to "jump into" one of his chalk pictures with the children. These are the directions he gave to the children:

"Let’s see… you think. You wink. You do a double blink. You close your eyes, and jump."

At this point, Bert and the children jump onto another concrete square–the one with the picture drawn on it. Nothing happens. Mary Poppins then chimes in:

"Bert, why do you always complicate things that are really quite simple. Give me your hand, Michael. Don’t slouch. 1, 2…"

And everyone seems to jump without trying, and they travel into the magical world of Bert’s picture.

Why didn’t it work the first time? Bert thought he knew how to make the magic. Later in the movie you find out that Bert and Mary Poppins had had previous adventures together. Perhaps these instructions he gave were what he was doing when the magic happened before. But he left out the critical element, and actually the only element that was necessary: Mary Poppins.

While Mary Poppins was working magic, Bert was only aware of his telestial actions, and began to believe that they had something to do — in fact caused — the magic. He was mistaken, and the children were disappointed.

I tie this to conversion in the gospel and the Spirit. Many missionaries in training positions have taught techniques for door approaches, or special ways of leading discussions, that they promised would double baptisms. I have heard many, many promises. I have never witnessed or even heard of a story where applying the technique actually worked. On the other hand, when I and other missionaries have applied the Spirit, and put our whole faith in that, and followed the Spirit’s guidance — that is when the conversion happens. Now the unaware companion to the missionary who is led by the Spirit may inappropriately attribute the success to the techniques he used, rather than the true source.

The fact is that Heavenly Father is the source of all truth, all power, and true conversion. We must attribute each success to Him. And if we want to see an increase in baptisms as missionaries, we must focus on improving our relationship with Him, become familiar with the scriptures, and become more influenced by the Holy Ghost.

Sound preachy? Maybe there’s a reason General Conference sounds preachy. I submit to you my testimony: that there are many pure and splendid gospel truths that are only accessible through the scriptures and the power of the Holy Ghost. No wonder the brethren keep hitting on personal scripture study and prayer over and over again. They want us to have what they have. They can’t give it to us. They can only teach us how to obtain it for ourselves.

God loves each and every one of us. He wants us to feel his love always. We must be in tune to feel that.